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Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Assvice

I know that most of the people that read this blog are moms. That one guy that reads? Yeah, he's not so much a mom. Or a dad for that matter. I hear he likes boobs though.

I know that I, as a mom, hate getting assvice about how to raise my kids or what they are doing or what they should be doing and all that shit. HATE it. And, I know that most moms feel the same way. But, still, we get it. When it comes from friends or family, I still get pissed, but I get why they do it. But, when complete strangers have something to say about my kids? Hell no! These are MY kids, jackass, back off!

Well, now, I am getting it from my soon-to-be-ex-husband. Now, we have always had a few issues with parenting. Sometimes he thinks I am too strict and others he thinks I am giving in too much. And, of course, it's vice versa for me towards him. January 7th was Alyssa's 3rd birthday and it was a day that she was with her dad (every other week). So, I called and went over there to see her for a little bit since it was her birthday. While I was there, she did something (can't really remember what) and I told her to stop or go to timeout. He told me that "that timeout bullshit" doesn't work with her, that I need to spank her when she does that. I have learned to pick my battles, so I just said nothing about it. But, it did piss me off. Just because you do something one way where you live does NOT mean that I have to do it the same way at my house.

Around Christmas he told me that she needs speech therapy and that he thinks she is a little autistic. Tha fuck??? Number one, Alyssa is the furthest thing from autistic. She loves people, will converse with anyone, plays with everyone. She is nothing if not a typical 3 year old little girl. Second, I can understand 95% of what she says. I realize that I am her mom and I am around her more than anyone, but everyone else that she's around when she's with me can understand about 90% of what she says. Again, I didn't argue, just kind of smile and nod.

I don't know, I guess it pisses me off that he, as her father, would say something like that without knowing the facts. I know that autism wasn't something he came up with on his own. Someone put that shit in his head, but that's neither here nor there.

Oh well, I suppose it's something that as parent's we just learn to deal with. I will hear the assvice. Doesn't mean I am actually gonna listen to it.

What kind of assvice have you gotten?

14 comments:

Anonymous said...

Dave's mom has always talked about Ryan and her paci. From day one. I hate when she tries to say something or take her paci from her. Mostly, it's just that it comes from her.

Sherry said...

Well Alyssa is YOUR child and you know her best!! I say let those fools who are talking bs to keep talking. You are the better person to let it go in one ear and out the other.
Alyssa is a happy well balanced 3yr old and remember she and you are "bonded" and you both are HAPPY so keep it that way!!! :) Screw the outside world!!!! :)

Anonymous said...

The irritating thing is that you will both be her parents for the rest of her life and it's aggravating that you can't discuss things and try to make it easy for her.
And seriously? Time out works in your house but not his? I don't think it's the method that's the problem here.
As far as the autism/ speech thing? Go ahead and let him have her evaluated. She'll play with a speech therapist for an hour and then let theym tell him that she's perfectly normal. Jeffrey used to LOVE his therapists but they have too many kids and will not take on another if they don't qualify. Let him figure it out.

Ashley said...

Just pregnancy assvice now. One teacher I work with is very bitter that I am pregnant and she's not and she's made some really horrible remarks. Then all the waddling comments and telling me how big I'm getting. Just love it!!!!

Anonymous said...

Ugh. THAT would royally piss me off!!

Anonymous said...

Some have given me assvice about Morgan's pacifier. I smile, nod and make my own comments about something THEY do that *I* don't agree with. Tends to shut them the hell up rather fast.

Go ahead....have her evaluated. You know she's fine. Let him waste someone's time just for them to tell him the same damn thing.

And really? Time out doesn't work? But spanking does? Sure. Okay. Asshat. It really sucks he has to be a tool like this. Like this isn't hard enough on you and the girls that he has to be a douche, too?! WTF?!

Happy Working Mom said...

I was always so sick of the comments like "wait until you have two kids...it gets so much harder." Two kids later we were fine. Then it was "wait until you have 3 kids...you have no idea how hard that is!" Three kids later and we're doing great! I'm so sick of negativity when it comes to talking about kids! If a person doesn't have something nice to say, then don't say anything!

Me said...

Let me first say that Your "Ex" Should try spending some REAL time with his girls. Second, I can understand Alyssa just fine, I do remember his family telling him that is what should happen so I would say that is where that came from. But I still personally can understand her except when she is super excited then it is just to high pitched for my little ears. He growing up had a hard time speaking too. no one said he was autistic. That is S***!! I agree with you and understand why your would be upset.

Memphis said...

I don't have any kids. So of course my wife loves to tell everyone else how to raise theirs.

SJINCO said...

Oh the list is long but for some reason the only one I can come up with is 'Cut your boys hair, he looks like a girl.'

Yeah, whatever.

PS: But we did cut his hair yesterday, and a little part of me died. We cut it because we wanted to, not because we got tired of all the assvice.

Amy W said...

I had no idea you un-locked your blog!! Next time tell me!

And that is crazy to think she would be autistic...

Anonymous said...

I hate getting assvice from anyone unless I specifically ask for it. If I'm not asking, then they can shut the F*** up. It especially annoys me when someone with out of control kids tries to tell me what I should do...Grrrr.
:)

That Chick Over There said...

When you have twins EVERYONE wants to give you advice. ALL THE TIME. Jesus. SO ANNOYING.

Anonymous said...

I'm pretty sure my ex knows if he were to give me assvice of any kind, I would laugh first and kick him in the balls second! If I suspected that assvice came from someone else (ie his live-in ho) I'd kick her in the balls too! Nope, he isn't involved enough to be giving me assvice of any kind, thankyouverymuch.:)