Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Goodbye 2008! Hello 2009!!

It's the end of another year. It seems like they just fly past the older you get. 2008 was not what I expected it to be this time last year, but, I think it has turned out to be just what I needed. There have been up and downs this year, that's for sure. But, I am really excited to begin 2009 and I think life is going to have some wonderful things for me in the coming year!

I guess at the end of the year everyone reflects back on everything that happened. There were more smiles than scowls. More happy tears than sad tears. Me and my family and friends are happy and healthy. I did alot of soul-searching and I really like what I've been finding and what I will continue to find. I am ready to wake up to 2009 and I am embracing this year with open arms. Life is what you make it and, you know what? Mine is pretty damn good!

I hope everyone has a safe and Happy New Year!!

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Really, I'm gonna try to do this more!

Ok, so I'm sure that some of you noticed that I never continued with my story. Well, it's long and drawn out and a conclusion has come of it, so at this point, I see no reason to try to put it all into words.

Long story short, we were not gonna work things out, then it was "whatever happens, happens". Some other things happened that really caused me to reevaluate everything. And even though, I knew and do know, that he is not what I need in my life, I was willing to try.

Apparently, he was not. Chris called me about a week and a half ago and said we needed to just go ahead and get divorce. Like right now. This after he and I decided in the beginning of all this that we could stay legally married because I do not have the option of health insurance at my job. Well, that's kind of a moot point, since, well, he was fired. But, he was paying for Cobra and supposedly going to get that job back. In my opinion that is never going to happen, but that's neither here nor there. It's no longer my problem. The next girl can deal with that and all the other problems that come along with Chris.

He wants this life that I do not want and cannot give him. I'm done with spending all of my time going out to the bars with friends (basically, they are beer buddies) every single night and acting like I have no responsibilities. I don't have anything to prove to anyone and I am lucky to have friends that could care less where I work, what I drive, how much money I have or anything else for that matter. And, through all of this, I have gained 3 more of those friends. So, I've filed for divorce. It wasn't easy, I spent almost all of that night after signing the complaint crying. But, it's done. It's the beginning of a new part of my life, just one more chapter of my story. I know when I sign the actual papers and I have to go to the court to have the final divorce decree, I will probably cry. Because, it's sad. Sad that he doesn't see the person he's become. But, I can't change that, and I am done trying.

I'm moving on. If I hadn't me Chris, I wouldn't have Alyssa. I wouldn't have his family, who, by the way, I do and will continue to have a relationship with. I wouldn't have the 3 new friends that I have. Friends that continuously listen to me bitch and cry about all of this and when all is said and done, will always be there.

Wednesday, December 03, 2008

Who let the dogs out?

I didn't realize how long it had been since I last posted! I've decided to curtail my story for the time being (look at me using big words!) to concentrate on more upbeat things. I don't want to give you all the impression that I am sitting around wallowing in my own self pity. That's far from the truth.

So, let's see. You'd like to hear a story about my Thanksgiving, no? Ok, you've twisted my arm.

At Thanksgiving each year, my dad's side of the family have a big get together. I'm talking like 30-40 people. We go down to my great-aunt's house in Mizzippi (I'm not stupid, that's how we say it down here). My cousin has a big place on her land. Basically, just a big building with a pool table, flat screen tvs, tables, a kitchen and a bathroom. Perfect for Thanksgiving. It's a potluck as well, so no one has to do all the cooking.

Anyway, we eat, talk, blah blah blah. Now, my aunt has quite a few acres of land. Next to her land, the neighbors have horses and bulls. Bulls with horns. Long horns. Yeah. My cousin brought her dog with her. Her dog that she had gotten just a few days before from some friends that couldn't care for her. A Siberian Husky. Beautiful, friendly and active dog. You see where this is going, don't you?

After a while the dog ends up going down to the fence that separates us from the bulls. It's a good 130+ yards away. She's sniffing and just checking things out. Then, we couldn't see her for a minute. Then she pops back up. And, then, we realize she has gotten into the neighbors pasture. With the bulls. And the horses. And she's sneaking up to the bulls. My mom and brother and Kaylie were riding around on the golf cart and saw her and tried to get her to come back under the fence. Nope, she was about to have some fun.

So, us being rednecks, several of us drive down or walk down to the fence to watch. This damn dog was running and jumping at the bulls, who were, in turn, trying their best to knock the shit out of her. Then she notices the horses. And, of course, must check them out too. Of course, the horses pay much less attention to her. Basically, just trying to bite her. Then, one horse happened to move his tail. Aww hell, she thinks this is something to grab! She jumps a couple of times to grab the tail and finally the horse has had enough and tries to kick her.

We watched all of this for a good 30 minutes and then my cousin got through the fence and finally got her dog.

Thanksgiving in Mizzippi. Good times.