I have been toying with the idea of moving my blog to Wordpress. Mainly because, I like being able to respond when someone leaves me a comment. I don't want to seem like I don't really care about what you have to say. I don't, but I don't want to seem that way. Anyway, I will be making that decision soon. Until then programming will continue as scheduled, please check your local listings.

For the past 2 days at around 7 or so, Alyssa has had a complete meltdown. She has eaten so she's not hungry, she's just tired. Anything and everything will make her cry and scream and fling herself around. Normally, Alyssa is a very easy going little girl, only getting upset when she's tired or hungry. Now she is becoming a little more independent and gets mad when she doesn't get what she wants.

Case in point: Alyssa loves end tables, has loved them since she was old enough to really see them and understand that there are things on them. Things she cannot have. When she sits with me on the couch, she will eventually try to get to the tables. I tell her no, and move her away. OMG!!! This has really been pissing her off lately. That is pretty much what started her meltdowns the last two nights. I finally had to just turn off almost all the lights and sit down in the recliner and rock with her until she finally calmed down.

Like I said, the reason for this is she is tired. I don't know if she's napping less at her babysitter (note to self: ask them, duh) or if she's going through a growth spurt (that would be great) and needs more rest. Either way, I am NOT going to move her bedtime earlier than it is. She goes to bed by 8:30 on the weeknights. Some nights we don't get home until 5:30 and then I have to make dinner and I don't end up getting to spend much time with the girls before bedtime as it is. I don't want to lose more of that time. I think I will ask her babysitter to try to get her to take either longer naps or more naps and maybe that will help, who knows.


Poor, poor sad Lissy

WOW! I can't believe I had 19 comments on my last post!!!! (Well, 20, if you include my own comment) Thank you to everyone for your suggestions and I really am going to try my best to become more organized. I am tired of starting each morning out feeling rushed and feeling like I forgot to do something.

Speaking of forgetting to do something, I forgot to take something out for dinner tonight, so you see why I need to get organized!

This past weekend, Alyssa stood BY HERSELF!!! Not for long, only about 5 seconds or so, but she stood and I could tell that she really wanted to do it! I guess she will be attempting some steps soon. I'm not at all ready for that, not because she will be more mobile and into even more stuff, but because, holy crap, she's growing up waaaaaaaaay too fast and it makes me sad. I also took her bottle away from her this weekend. I had been offering her a sippy cup for the last month or so and she wanted nothing to do with it. Nothing. So, I finally decided that we were gonna quit the bottle "cold turkey" and it was much easier than I anticipated. She is now drinking out of a sippy cup!

I will leave you with a new pic.



It's not very good quality; I took it with my phone.

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I want everyone to send out prayers for a friend of mine today. She, unfortunately, had a miscarriage last night. She was just one day or so away from that 13-week milestone. She was so excited about having her 1st baby, but, sometimes things work out differently than you plan.

Ok fellow bloggers, I need advice! I know that all of my readers are incredibly smart, otherwise, you would not be reading.

I need help getting myself, my kids, and my apartment organized. I am serious! I am not a very organized person, I never have been, and it just seems to be getting worse. I end up late for everything because at the last minute I'm running around like a chicken with it's head cut off trying to get shit together!! I do not like feeling rushed but most days, it's my own fault. Did I mention that I may be a bit of a procrastinator? And a packrat? Lord I need help!

Any advice, be it personal or pointing me to a website or whatever would be greatly appreciated.

One thing for sure I need some advice on is how to get Kaylie motivated in the mornings to get herself ready.

Please!!

5 Things Meme

Well, I've been tagged by Kellie again for another Meme. This one is 5 Things About Me. I will try my hardest not to bore anyone that happens to read this to death!

**Once you have been tagged, you have to write a blog with 5 facts about yourself. Then choose 5 people you want to tag and list their names. Then leave a comment on their blog letting them know they’ve been tagged.**

5 things about me:

1. When I lay on the couch with a blanket, if the blanket has a tag on it, it has to be on the side near my feet, not near my head. I have not idea why, it just does.

2. I recently decided to get my belly button pierced! Well, not recently, I had decided along time ago, but I finally did it!!

3. I really don't understand this, but I would love, love, love to have another baby. It's probably not gonna happen any time soon, if ever, but I would love to.

4. I love thunderstorms! Especially thunderstorms at night during the summertime. I love to sit and watch them roll in and watch the lightning.

5. I suck at writing things about myself. Like this.

OMG that was so horrible. I apologize to anyone that reads this.

Ok, so I'm gonna tag:

Amy W.
Stacey (cuz she needs something to blog about)
Casey
Vicki
CPA Mom

A little late

Ok, I don't have the internet at home so I could not post a birthday post to my baby girl on her birthday and I've been pretty busy while at work. But, finally, I am doing it.

Alyssa's 1st birthday was on Sunday, January 7th. Let's go back to one year ago.

Early morning December 31st (around 5ish I think) I woke up having contractions. You were not due until the end of January so I was shocked and kinda scared. We were really not ready. Although, I had a feeling that you were not planning to wait until the end of January to meet us so Daddy and I had done our best to get things ready early. I woke up your Daddy and off to the hospital we go and, yep, I'm in labor. 35 and 1/2 weeks was too soon they said. They gave me some shots in my arm to stop the labor and we spent our New Year's Eve night in the hospital. Luckily the shots worked and we went home the next day.

Fast forward to 3 days later. Once again, early morning and I am in labor again. Back to the hospital we go. They stop the labor again and we go home and go to see my OB that afternoon. I had not dialated from the labor but I was still contracting all the time. He decided to go ahead and induce me on Friday, January 6th.

Daddy and I got up that morning, we took Kaylie to school and head to the doctor's office and promptly got sent to the hospital where the induction began. After 18, yes 18, hours of labor there were some problems. The nurse came in and put an oxygen mask on me because your heart rate was just a little low. Ok, I can handle that. Dr. Stack (love him) came in and checked and I was still only 3 cm dialated. It was looking like a c-section but we wanted to wait a little longer and see. Just a few minutes later, the nurse comes in and rolls me on my right side, then on my left and then more nurses come in and they tell me that you had to come out NOW. Your heart rate was around 60 bpm and should have been more than twice that. I have never been so scared in my life.

Within minutes I am being wheeled into the OR for an emergency c-section. Your Daddy couldn't even come with me because they had to put me under general anethesia. That scared me even more. The next thing I know I wake up back in my room and your Daddy is standing next to the bed holding you in his arms. You were perfect.

It seems like yesterday. I thank God and the wonderful doctors and nurses that you came through everything just fine. I love you baby girl.

Happy 1st Birthday Alyssa!



A little late, but better than nothing!


******Edited to add other pics of Alyssa. I wanted everyone to see just how much she demolished that cake. She LOVED it.******

Very proud!

This weekend was a pretty good weekend for me and my girls. Of course, we had Alyssa's 1st birthday party and I will tell you about that and probably have some pics later.

But...

On Friday night, I picked up Kaylie from school, picked up Alyssa from Chris and went home. Of course, as soon as I got home I realized that I still had not dropped of Alyssa prescription for her ear infection. So, back out we all go. Thank goodness it was not raining (it did most of the weekend) and was nice out (65ish degrees). We go to the closest Walgreens to drop off the script. We go in and I give it to them and they tell me it will be an hour and a half before it's ready. WTF!?! So I said ok and we go back home. We all eat dinner and I'm waiting on 8:30 to get close so that we can go back to get the medicine. Alyssa was getting fussy and was obviously ready to go to bed.

We go back and, of course, the line at the pharmacy is about 10 miles long. So we wait and wait and wait. We finally get to the front of the line and, don't you know, it wasn't even ready yet! I should say that the girls were behaving very very well the whole time, which helped. They finally get it ready and we leave, again, and head home. We get home and get pjs on and take medicine and Kaylie tells me she wants to read the library book she go from school before bed.

Ok, fine with me. We all get into Kaylie's bed. Ok, Alyssa stayed there for about 2.5 seconds and then wanted down. But, Kaylie opens the book and, much to my surprise and amazement, she started reading the book to me!!!!!!!!! My baby has learned how to read!!! OMG!!! She still needed help on a few of the words, but she read me the entire book. I cannot tell you how proud I am of this. I knew it was going to happen but the only things she was reading to me were little books that she and her classmates had put together, so I was thinking she was just remembering what the stories were.

Not so!!! I'm so excited for her and she was so happy to be able to show me that she could read. I can't wait for her to read another book to me. It was great that I was the one she wanted to share that with.

In most of my recent posts, I have kept most of my feelings and what's going on with my "situation" to myself, for my own reasons, but, things are changing and I feel like writing things down.

I've decided that I am no longer going to try to change Chris's mind about getting a divorce. Chris has been very wishy washy, for lack of a better word, with me in the last 2 months. He tells me that maybe we can work things out, that it may take awhile, but it could happen. Great! Then, 3 weeks later, he's changed his mind...again. But he still continues to ask me things like why did this happen and why this and why that.

If you want a divorce, WHY do you care??

I can't continue to put myself through that. It hurts me too much. Don't get me wrong, I still love Chris with all of my heart, but I am beginning to realize some things about him. This whole situation is showing me how selfish he can be. HE is the one that wanted to have Alyssa (I don't regret our decision and I never will, please don't think that) and get married because, and I quote, "it was the right thing to do". Now, my close friends that know me know that I have never believed that little saying. I have never agreed with getting married simply because you got someone pregnant. I married Chris because I was in love with him, no other reason. Sure, it happened sooner than we expected because I did get pregnant, but I was in love. It seems to me that Chris cannot and does not want to handle the responsibiltiy of being a full-time husband and father. Thats fine. That is his decision, but it should've been made along time ago, before he allowed my daughter and his daughter to become involved. They shouldn't have had to go through this. He can tell me all day long that the reason he wants a divorce is because I lied to him. I think that's bullshit. He was just looking for an out and he found one.

I've spent the last 2 months thinking about everything over and over again and I can't keep doing that. Like I said, I still love Chris and I wish that we could work things out, but he can't handle it and I can't force him to. I have to move on with my life for my sake and my daughters' sakes.

It will be a long time before I get involved with anyone else. I'm just not ready for anything like that. I do want a family, a husband, my kids, hanging out at home just watching tv and playing, but I still would like to have that with Chris and I'm finally coming to grips with the fact that it is not going to happen.
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I took Alyssa for her 1 year checkup yesterday and my poor baby did not enjoy it. When I picked her up from the babysitter, she felt a little warm. We get to the dr and they prick her finger to check her iron, which was great, and that pissed her off. She would calm down a little bit and then she would look at the band-aid on her little finger and just get all upset again. Made me want to cry with her. She's healthy, she's growing. She's 16 pounds, 12 ounces. On the small side, but her doctor is ok with it. She was running a fever though, a small one, but a fever. She has an ear infection and a cough and snot for days. But, we will get her antibiotics and she will be feeling great and ready for her birthday party on Saturday. I can't wait for that!

Go on over and see Vicki and read her post. I think she's got a pretty cool idea and I think I'm gonna participate!

Well then

After my "de-lurk" post was posted I received plenty of comments from people that I know read my blog and some that I didn't know and a few that are new readers. Of course, now I feel like I must entertain you people with witty writings of my interesting life. Boy, are ya'll (shut up, I live in Tennessee) gonna be sorely disappointed.

Mostly it will just be me bitching about my ex-husband and his inability to pay any child support whatsoever, me rejoicing in my two beautiful daughters (ok, ok, complaining at times too) and just giving my thoughts on life, love, and the pursuit of happiness. I hope that it is good enough because, while I do enjoy narrative writing (always have), more often than not, I find myself struggling to put what I'm thinking into words. Well, words that other people can understand anyway.

What types of things do you enjoy blogging about and why do you blog?


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Edited to add: Stupid new blogger. I used to be able to respond to people's comments when they were emailed to me and I cannot respond any more. Just want ya'll to know that I would if I could. Stupid new blogger.

De-Lurk!

It's National Delurker Week so I wanna hear from ya!

Two posts in one day!

Ok, I stole this from It's My Life and wanted to do it. I am tagging everyone!

1. What did you do in 2006 that you’d never done before? Bought 2 vehicles
2. Did you keep your New Year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?I did not make any last year.
3. Did anyone close to you give birth? Yeah, I did!
4. Did anyone close to you die? Luckily no.
5. What countries did you visit? None
6. What would you like to have in 2007 that you lacked in 2006? There are lots of things.
7. What date from 2006 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? There are 2, the 1st is Jan. 7th because it's my baby girl's birthday and the other is Nov. 5th because that's the day my husband told me he wanted a divorce.
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? Getting a big raise at work.
9. What was your biggest failure? Separating from my husband.
10. Did you suffer illness or injury? Just the usual colds, etc.
11. What was the best thing you bought? I don't know.
12. Whose behavior merited celebration? Certainly not mine.
13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? Mine.
14. Where did most of your money go? To everyone else.
15. What events did you get really, really, really excited about? My daughter's impending birth and my first wedding anniversary.
16. What song will always remind you of ‘06? Broken Road by Rascal Flatts
17. Compared to this time last year, are you:* Happier or Sadder? Much sadder* Thinner or Fatter? Thinner (but I was preggo last year) * Richer or Poorer? Neither I guess
18. What do you wish you’d done more of? Too many things.
19. What do you wish you’d done less of? Worrying
20. How was Christmas? My kids enjoyed it.
21. Who did you spend the most time on the phone with? Probably my husband.
22. Did you fall in love in 2006?I stayed in love
23. How many one-night stands? None
24. What was your favorite TV program? I don't know, I like CSI and Law & Order.

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year? Hate…no. Dislike…yes.

26. What was the best book you read? I have not really had time to read.
27. What was your greatest musical discovery or rediscovery? I didn't have any.
28. What did you want and get? Love for a minute at least.

29. What did you want and not get? See #28
30. What were your favorite films of this year? I don't really have any.
31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? 27 and Chris and I went to a Tennessee Titans game.
32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? My husband working things out with me.
33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2006? I don't know.
34. What kept you sane?My husband tried to and so did I.
35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most/least? I really don't care either way.
36. What political issue stirred you the most? Hmmm, I'm not sure.
37. Whom did you miss? My Husband.
38. Who was the best new person you met? No one that I can think of.
39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2006: Not enough time or space to list it.
40. Do you have any lost feelings of others? no

Happy New Year

I hope that everyone had a good New Years. Mine was quiet, I had my babies and stayed home with them. They did stay up until around 11 or so and had a good time playing. I would do like everyone else and go into what I want for 2007, but I'm not going to.

I'm sure I have lots of resolutions for myself, my family, my career, etc, but do I really want to put them all into words and put them on this blog? Not really. There are some things that I do not feel like sharing and this is one of them.

That being said, I do hope for good things in the next year. My 2006 started out wonderful and ended pretty crappy. It can only get better, right?

I'm a little sad at the moment because, my little baby will be turning one year old on Sunday. I'm so excited that she has reached this milestone, but I wish that I could turn back time, or, at least slow it down some. Before I know it she will be walking and talking and turn into a toddler that doesn't want to cuddle or want my help to do things anymore.

Oh well, I guess that's just what they do.