Assvice

I know that most of the people that read this blog are moms. That one guy that reads? Yeah, he's not so much a mom. Or a dad for that matter. I hear he likes boobs though.

I know that I, as a mom, hate getting assvice about how to raise my kids or what they are doing or what they should be doing and all that shit. HATE it. And, I know that most moms feel the same way. But, still, we get it. When it comes from friends or family, I still get pissed, but I get why they do it. But, when complete strangers have something to say about my kids? Hell no! These are MY kids, jackass, back off!

Well, now, I am getting it from my soon-to-be-ex-husband. Now, we have always had a few issues with parenting. Sometimes he thinks I am too strict and others he thinks I am giving in too much. And, of course, it's vice versa for me towards him. January 7th was Alyssa's 3rd birthday and it was a day that she was with her dad (every other week). So, I called and went over there to see her for a little bit since it was her birthday. While I was there, she did something (can't really remember what) and I told her to stop or go to timeout. He told me that "that timeout bullshit" doesn't work with her, that I need to spank her when she does that. I have learned to pick my battles, so I just said nothing about it. But, it did piss me off. Just because you do something one way where you live does NOT mean that I have to do it the same way at my house.

Around Christmas he told me that she needs speech therapy and that he thinks she is a little autistic. Tha fuck??? Number one, Alyssa is the furthest thing from autistic. She loves people, will converse with anyone, plays with everyone. She is nothing if not a typical 3 year old little girl. Second, I can understand 95% of what she says. I realize that I am her mom and I am around her more than anyone, but everyone else that she's around when she's with me can understand about 90% of what she says. Again, I didn't argue, just kind of smile and nod.

I don't know, I guess it pisses me off that he, as her father, would say something like that without knowing the facts. I know that autism wasn't something he came up with on his own. Someone put that shit in his head, but that's neither here nor there.

Oh well, I suppose it's something that as parent's we just learn to deal with. I will hear the assvice. Doesn't mean I am actually gonna listen to it.

What kind of assvice have you gotten?

OMG, 2 posts in one week!!!

I got this as an email from a co-worker. It is hilarious and sad all at the same time. Enjoy!

It's time again for the annual "Stella Awards." For those unfamiliar with
these awards, they are named after 81-year-old Stella Liebeck who spilled
hot coffee on herself and successfully sued the McDonald's in New Mexico
where she purchased the coffee.
You remember, she took the lid off the coffee and put it between her knees
while she was driving. Who would ever think one could get burned doing
that, right?

That's right; these are awards for the most outlandish lawsuits and verdicts
in the U.S. You know, the kinds of cases that make you scratch your head.
So keep your head scratcher handy. These are also the people that vote in
this country!

Here are the Stella's for the past year:


7TH PLACE:

Kathleen Robertson of Austin , Texas was awarded $80,000 by a jury of her
peers after breaking her ankle tripping over a toddler who was running
inside a furniture store. The store owners were understandably surprised
by the verdict, considering the running toddler was her own son.

6TH PLACE:

Carl Truman, 19, of Los Angeles , California won $74,000 plus medical
expenses when his neighbor ran over his hand with a Honda Accord.
Truman apparently didn't notice there was someone at the wheel of the car
when he was trying to steal his neighbor's hubcaps.

Go ahead, grab your head scratcher.


5TH PLACE:

Terrence Dickson, of Bristol, Pennsylvania, was leaving a house he had just
burglarized by way of the garage. Unfortunately for Dickson, the automatic
garage door opener malfunctioned and he could not get the garage door to
open. Worse, he couldn't re-enter the house because the door connecting the
garage to the house locked when Dickson pulled it shut. Forced to sit for
eight, count 'em, EIGHT, days on a case of Pepsi and a large bag of dry dog
food, he sued the homeowner's insurance company claiming undue mental
anguish. Amazingly, the jury said the insurance company must pay Dickson
$500,000 for his anguish. We should all have this kind of anguish.

Keep scratching. There are more...

4TH PLACE:

Jerry Williams, of Little Rock , Arkansas , garnered 4th Place in the Stella's
when he was awarded $14,500 plus medical expenses after being bitten on the
butt by his next door neighbor's beagle - even though the beagle was on a
chain in its owner's fenced yard. Williams did not get as much as he asked
for because the jury believed the beagle might have been provoked at the
time of the butt bite because Williams had climbed over the fence into the
yard and repeatedly shot the dog with a pellet gun.

Grrrrr .... Scratch, scratch.

3RD PLACE:

Third place goes to Amber Carson of Lancaster, Pennsylvania because a jury
ordered a Philadelphia restaurant to pay her $113,500 after she slipped on a
spilled soft drink and broke her tailbone. The reason the soft drink was on
the floor: Ms. Carson had thrown it at her boyfriend 30 second s earlier
during an argument. What ever happened to people being responsible for
their own actions?

Scratch, scratch, scratch. Hang in there; there are only two more Stellas
to go...

2ND PLACE:

Kara Walton, of Claymont, Delaware sued the owner of a night club in a
nearby city because she fell from the bathroom window to the floor, knocking
out her two front teeth. Even though Ms. Walton was trying to sneak through
the ladies room window to avoid paying the $3.50 cover charge, the jury said
the night club had to pay her $12,000....oh, yeah, plus dental expenses.
Go figure.


1ST PLACE : (May I have a fanfare played on 50 kazoos please)

This year's runaway First Place Stella Award winner was Mrs. Merv Grazinski,
of Oklahoma City, Oklahoma, who purchased a new 32-foot Winnebago motor
home. On her first trip home from an OU football game, having driven onto
the freeway, she set the cruise control at 70 mph and calmly left the
driver's seat to go to the back of the Winnebago to make herself a
sandwich. Not surprisingly, the motor home left the freeway, crashed and
overturned. Also not surprisingly, Mrs. Grazinski sued Winnebago for not
putting in the owner's manual that she couldn't actually leave the driver's
seat while the cruise control was set. The Oklahoma jury awarded her, are
you sitting down, $1,750,000 PLUS a new motor home. Winnebago actually
changed their manuals as a result of this suit, just in case Mrs. Grazinski
has any relatives who might also buy a motor home.


Are we, as a society, getting more stupid...or what? Someone forgot to mention that the jury in all those cases were stupid.

I see you! No really, I can!

So apparently, today is Delurking Day in the blogosphere. Who knew? Well, not me since I don't blog like I used to. I am trying to get back to regular blogging. I know I've lost some readers what with the whole, I'm blogging, I'm not blogging, I'm private, I'm not private crap. But, rest assured, that shit is done with. I am blogging. I am not private. And I know you are so excited you might pee your pants!!



So, come out, come out wherever you are! Seriously! I will kick ass if I have to. I've done it before. Ok, no, I haven't, but I've threatened it before!

Catch-up

It's been a busy few months for me. Very busy! And, so, I give you pictures to catch you up. Yes, I am taking the easy way out, but, trust me, if I try to put it all into a post, it would take you a day to read and me more than that to write it!

So there was Halloween




Alyssa was a panda bear, Kaylie was Gabriella from HSM and that's my cousin in the background.

There was Kaylie's 8th birthday! Surprise, surprise, an HSM cake!



There has been quite a bit of karaoking (I am certain that's a word). Not sure why I look pregnant in that picture, cuz, trust me, I don't and I'm not!



There's been new friends!



Old Friends






New Year's Eve!






Alyssa's 3rd Birthday!



She thought us singing Happy Birthday to her was the funniest thing!


I've been having some good times lately! It's been a blast! And, it's only gonna get better!